10 year old Brad Brad today
By: Brad Wandell, who you can follow on Twitter here: @KUBradWandell
As a freshman in college, at age 18, I had a discussion with the leader of thedive35.com, the Godfather himself, Colin Chiles. The topic of discussion? Let’s say you have infinite amount of 10 year old versions of yourself running at you from all angles. Eventually, with an infinite amount, the little shits will eventually take over and you will not be overcome. There is not a person on the planet who can overcome an infinite amount of 10 year old versions of yourself coming from all directions, they will be undefeated.
According to statistics provided by disabled-world.com, the average 10 year old male weight 70 pounds, and is roughly 4’6” tall. One year later, those average numbers increase to 78.5 pounds, and roughly 4’8” tall. This isn’t just a matter of added fat, obviously. As males enter their adolescent years, testosterone takes over, and you can factor in added muscle, increased motor skills, and so on.
In a sense, what we attack today is an analysis on year-over-year athlete development. A lot of us as 9 or 10 year old kids would look up to the eleven year olds practicing on the fields next to us, and we couldn’t imagine being able to match up with them. It was impossible. Personally, I really don’t’ feel like I caught up physically to those who were a year older than I was, until perhaps somewhere in the 18-20 year old range.
The answer on just how many you can overcome will vary from person to person, but we’re not talking about you are we? Since I’m writing this article, we’re going to focus on me. By age 10, I was roughly in the 80th percentile in both height and weight. We’re going to have to use this data for estimates instead of exact numbers, as I was turned away by my childhood pediatrician this morning when I went up trying to collect my medical records. They didn’t remember me, I forgot my ID, and quite frankly, things got ugly. Yes, the cops showed up and escorted me out, but at least I only received a warning! We have to look at these things in a positive light. Some people just don’t appreciate the importance of accurate data when writing an extremely important analysis such as this!
So let’s estimate that by age 10, I was probably somewhere in the ballpark of 5’1″ and 110 pounds. Today, at age 27, I’m a good 8 inches taller and over twice that weight. I can’t reiterate enough that this doesn’t factor in the YEARS of weight training that I’ve gone through in attempts to impress my peers at parties when everybody talks about their max bench presses, which is what I assume people do at parties.
Age 11 was the first time that I tried to pick up the bar on a bench press. I remember it being so heavy and awkward, the bar fell to the side! Wow! What a dumb little baby back bitch I was! And that was only 45 pounds! But I’m not going to use this forum to run through my weight room numbers to show what kind of a meat head I am; let’s just say I’ve come a long way. And that was one year AFTER I turned 10.
I don’t think it’s unfair to say I could easily knock little bitch-ass pansy 10 year old Brad Wandell out with just one swing. There is some subjectivity in this discussion, because while we do know it’s an infinite amount, we don’t know how fast little Brad is coming. For the sake of argument, let’s say there is one ten year old Brad hitting me every two seconds.
It starts off pretty solid. I’m knocking out Brad after Brad, laughing hysterically as I do (hopefully intimidating the next coming Brads. I’m looking for every advantage here). Dead Brads start piling up everywhere, and by the 30-second mark, I’ll already have taken on 15 little Brads!
There is no way I could say I’m in the best shape of my life right now and at some point, stamina is going to come in to play. Crushing the faces of tiny 10 year old Brad’s is going to take a toll on me at some point. I could see myself going strong for 40 seconds and then starting to fade. As I’m fading, I stop laughing and start grunting from the work. I lose my intimidation advantage there and what’s worse is they may even be seeing that I’m tiring. This gives the little Brads even more energy to take down big Brad. By 45 seconds, I’m definitely being hit by multiple Brads at once and as soon as that starts, I surely can’t last too much longer. I think I could make it to about 60 seconds before they finally took me down, presumably ripping out my intestines and eating me to claim victory.
So how many 10 year old versions of myself could I take down? For me, that answer is 30. It’s very tough to imagine more. I’m human, not a machine, and I couldn’t have been too much of a scrub at age 10.
This discussion is going to be a thing, people. So why don’t you let me know how you feel? Don’t hesitate to comment under this article, or hit me up on Facebook. Obviously, with the discussion being about me, I included data about the development of the male body. With girls, it’s going to be a little different, but your charts can be viewed at https://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/height-weight-teens.shtml . I look forward to more exhilarating discussions like this in the future! Til next time, friends.
Estimated 10 year old versions of myself I can take: 30